It’s My Birthday…New Year, New Me!!!

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Happy Birthday to ME!!!

You guys, I can not tell you how incredibly excited I am to start a new year. I have never been able to really enjoy this day and celebrate it the way I know God intended. You see I am a perfectionist…WAS a perfectionist….it’s a dirty word, I know! My level of perfectionism never really allowed me to see or love myself the way God does. Functioning in this way robbed me of so much joy.

Perfectionism seemed like a nice idea. It meant I would always strive for greatness in every single thing I set my mind to do. Sounds nice, right? The problem is that my goals and efforts are completely unquantifiable. Sure, I’d be working tirelessly and always striving to do my best but, at what expense? I became a pro at picking out my flaws which led to looking past my successes so that I could work harder; get better. Perfectionism always left me disappointed in myself and emotionally exhausted. It was easy to see greatness in everyone else and celebrate them. But, when it came to seeing greatness in myself…..eeeeke, I could not do it! I always saw “potential” and the need to work even harder….get better, so that I would be better, have more joy, etc.

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I longed for a release….begged God for it actually. Have you ever been in a season of pruning? The kind of pruning that leaves most doors closed at every turn? The past couple of years have been a time of “no’s.” Now, to a perfectionist this is the worst possible season. My confidence took a nose dive, I began to take refuge in my comfort zones. I was in hiding. Hiding was easier because it meant there was a smaller risk of disappointment.  I even started to lose sight of the things God created me to do. Why?? Because, even though I have a beautiful relationship with God, I felt that I would never be good enough and my efforts would never measure up to be blessed in the way I knew God wanted to bless me. Logically, I understand that this is wrong thinking. Jesus came so that we could have life and have it more abundantly! His sacrifice sets us free….we no longer have to work to be loved and accepted.

What I needed was to hear from God in a big way! Months and months went by and God gently loved me through my heartbreaks and disappointments. He’s such a great parent! Man, I want to be just like him!! As a parent, I’m it was hard to watch me struggle but, he allowed those difficult times to teach me, to help me grow. He showed me that “mistakes” or “closed doors” aren’t tied to self worth but, are merely opportunities for growth and learning. Pure and simple. I am enough right where I am at this very moment! He also showed me….and, this one hurt a bit….perfectionism is not a personality trait but, a way to cope with unpredictability. Yeah, basically I am a control freak and I need to release my grip and trust in HIS ability to love and care for me well.

How could I love God so much and trust in him so little? This one broke my heart. This realization brought me to a cross road. Do I trust God and leap towards what He has for me? OR, Do I stay the course and do things my way?

The answer was simple! I’m ALL IN with you, God! No matter how uncomfortable I am in situations that I can not control. My trust is in you! When I am afraid to take a step but, the peace of God is there….I step because I trust in you!

You guys, once I made this mindset shift I began to hear God more clearly than ever before. You see, I was in a sort of prison. Not the kind where someone else holds the key to freedom. The prison I was in was one that I created along with the help of the enemy’s lies.  I was free to leave at any time! Ohhh my goodness!!! That realization rocked me to the core! Unlock the doors! I’m leaving this joint! I made a choice to actively resist the lies of the enemy and embrace love and the mindset of Christ through affirmations and quiet time. I am HIS, I am chosen by Him, I am loved by Him, I am enough and I needed to start acting like it!

Soooo much revelation. So much freedom. So much love!

God so lovingly reminded me of the call he has on my life, which requires me to push past fear and take many leaps of faith. I have to laugh because I can come up with all of the risks involved in leaping! I still struggle with those thoughts but, I fight them with HIS truths. I remind myself over and over again of God’s love, His plan, His guidance, His hand in mine.

What I have come to realize is that my lifestyle as a perfectionist kept me from enjoying and truly experiencing all God has for me! Sure, I’ve had great successes and blessings but, the chains of perfectionism robbed me of joy and happiness. I often felt alone and unseen. Not by the general public but, by God. You guys!!! Perfectionism was robbing my of the joy of being a wife, a mother, a friend, an actor…..

Not only do I want freedom from this type of bondage for myself but, I don’t want my children to follow in these particular footsteps! I want them to feel the fullness of joy and acceptance. No jails or chains for them because this mommy is breaking free!!

God’s love for us is filled with patience and guidance. He allowed me to walk this road to such a degree that I was ready to leave it behind. Actually, I was ready to Forest Gump this situation and run!!! It was my choice. It took courage and guidance from Him but, I did it and it feels amazing! What a good and faithful God he is!!

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I am beyond excited about entering this new year of my life! It was always hard to celebrate my birthday because I never felt worthy or excited about “me.” Not anymore! I am free from those chains and boy am I celebrating! I am ready for all God has for me!

With my new mindset I am able to hear God like never before! And, you better believe that I have documented and color coordinated His every word in my journal! 🙂

I hope that by sharing my journey with perfectionism it will help some of you who struggle in a similar way.

The take away…

Perfectionism is a habit. A bad one. And change doesn’t always come easy, or overnight. It’s a choice that will be made a million times over. But it is liberating, and God will walk with you hand in hand, every step of the way. Don’t allow relapses into perfectionism dissuade you from the freedom to love yourself and those around you in a beautiful way….to live the life God intended you to live!

 XOXO,

WENDY

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Making time for self care….

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Can I be honest? Fitting in workouts has been the biggest challenge for me! I have a nasty habit of putting my needs on the back burner. Raise your hand if you can relate!! I run around making sure everyone else’s needs are met and allow myself to have the left overs. I recently saw a meme that said, “My kids look like they stepped out of a GAP ad and I look like I stepped out of an episode of the Walking Dead!” It’s funny and it was true!

You guys, I know better! Self care is a must. It’s important to take care of your soul, mind and body. Without getting too deep….I had to really look at how I viewed myself. Why do I insist on the best for my husband and kids but, not for myself? I felt the rumblings of change beginning to happen. You know the feeling, God starts stirring up things he wants to change in you. It hurts but, it’s necessary.  After some much needed time with my Creator and acknowledging deeply rooted “I am not enough” insecurities, I focused my attention on self care and self love.

I came up with 3 things I must do daily to care for myself.

That seems easy enough, right?

  1. Nurture my relationship with God through meditation, reading and prayer.
  2. Center my attention on Thankfulness.
  3. Care for my body through nutrition and exercise.

I have so much to say about all of these areas and I promise I will share more!

But…..

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Let’s chat fitness!

Your body needs to move! When you work out your body produces endorphins. The link between exercise and mood is pretty strong! I start to feel a shift in my mood fairly soon after I begin….it’s getting myself going that is the struggle.

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Never enough time! I am eyelash deep in babies, house cleaning, memorizing scripts and the countless other things that seem to creep in and takeover my day. I often feel like I don’t have time and the time that I do have I want to throw myself into a comfy bed and sleep. And, sometimes you need to indulge and do just that. But, I am in control of my day and if I want to see change I have to chisel out time. The first few days of my self care journey were filled with half attempts at failed workouts. I definitely try to be gentle with myself and extend grace. What I found that keeps me accountable is setting health goals and remembering why I need to be fit and healthy….my family! So, I fit my work outs into the nooks and crannies.

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My babies are always with me so, naturally I came up with ways to include them in my work out!  We make it fun and easy. I love that it introduces fitness to them at a young age. When they understand that I want to keep my body healthy and in shape, it motivates them to be healthy too!

When we work out together I do things that they love like kicking the ball and tag.  I also introduce a few exercises that their little bodies can handle. I am not going to lie, it’s pretty cute watching them attempt burpees. I am sure the added laughter increases the amount of calories burned, right?

Here are a few exercises we like to do together!

  1. Planks
  2. Squats
  3. Push-ups
  4. Lunges
  5. Burpees
  6. Leg raises
  7. High Knees

 

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And…..we run! My favorite Jogging Stroller is the Joovy Zoom 360. It’s lightweight, comfy and easy to maneuver. Seriously, this stroller has the most amazing ability to go over any terrain and make smooth turns. I actually prefer this stroller whenever we are cruising around town running errands! Thank you to Joovy for allowing me the ease of running with a great stroller!

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You can get your Joovy Zoom for under $220 here! Its Properly Stylish and affordable! Definitely a mommy must have!!

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To make sure my body is getting all of the nourishment it needs I follow a healthy diet and take Plexus’ plant based supplements. Don’t worry, I will fill you in on all of the details. I love veggies and Plexus! Both have changed my health game!

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Nothing motivates me more than my babies! If you need inspiration, look at the faces of your loved ones.

I hope my journey with self care will inspire you to take time for yourself. You are worth it! Both you and your family deserves to have the best version of “YOU.”

Be gentle and extend yourself a healthy serving of grace. Workouts don’t have to be perfect and you do not have to have a gym membership to exercise. Work with what you have, love on your family and get that body moving!

XO,

Wendy Wynne